Facing FAILURE

 

FAILURE

It’s a word that comes back to me again & again & again in my life. I felt failure much of my adolescence when I was overweight. I felt alone & hopeless & worthless.

My parents tried to reach out & help me but I wasn’t ready & felt defeated & embarassed. It’s hard to be a 7th grader & have your mom talk to you about weight loss & take you to a weight loss clinic. My parents were looking out for my best interest & wanted me to be healthy but it had to be on my terms.

I felt like a failure again after my first pregnancy. I had gained 40 pounds & while several friends lost all their baby weight nursing, I did not. I looked at my body & felt like I had been transported back to adolescence again. Failure. How was I ever going to lose this baby weight now that I had a new baby? Where was there time in the day to get in shape when I could hardly find five minutes to take a shower?

BUT in both these times in my life I knew I had to be the one to make healthy choices for myself. No one could do it for me. I had to make the choice to cut out junk food. I had to make the choice to carve out time every day to exercise.

I think the hardest part of making any change is starting! Isn’t it our mindset that were really up against? It’s taking that first step in deciding that today is the day I’m not going to live an unhealthy life & feel out of control anymore.

My hope is for anyone reading this to know that today you can also make that choice to change. I don’t know WHY you want to change. Maybe it’s to have more energy? Live a longer, healthier life? Look great in a swimsuit? Feel better? Sleep better? Run after & play with your kids without getting winded? Not have other people look down on you? Avoid criticism? Everyone has a WHY!!!

It’s not an easy journey but I would never want to go back to where I was!! I would never trade the confidence I have now to the times I felt like a failure & defeated.

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